it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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