great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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