cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
