Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
