why didn't you poke me back
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
