He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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