It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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