ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
