just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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