It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize