I heard we made out
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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