he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
