I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
