I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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