I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
