It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
