Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
