Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
