my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
