Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
