I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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