I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
