Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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