I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
