So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
