How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
