Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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