I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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