his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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