everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My ass is underappreciated
We are all done wearing pants today
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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