Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This baby is an asshole
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
