So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
