office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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