i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
