i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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