Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
