tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
