My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
