4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
