Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
