i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
