pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Jerry, you need to find god
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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