I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
