how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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