I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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