i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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