He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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