My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
