Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i permit you to call me
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
