Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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