That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
